Letterhead #14

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Dear Alex,
Thanks for the message.
It was sweet and lovely and made me smile.
The nicest part was you don't know I'm feeling sick and tired and sad. But you were still so nice. That message is the first good thing that's happened for me today.
Thank you.
Today might be bearable after all.

I want to feel clean again.

endless field

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I have a heat in my chest, the type I get when I am running with my eyes shut, it's spreading through me. I love I love that feeling.
I think I could run for the rest of my life.

Run

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In a new room,

In a new city

That smells like rain 

and my favourite 

colour. Friends ask me

if I miss them

How I want to say

yes, but

now I'm away

I feel I've found my self.

Again.

And I would not trade

her, for them.

I'm sorry friends

but alone beats lonely

any day.

Meat.

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The other night:
The way your eyes
looked at mine
made me feel
sick, sad, alone.
Please please please
do not look
at me
that way.
The way the other boys have.
I chose
you because
your eyes
are different.