Possession

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it envelops her once more
tucking her up
neat and trapped
inside its suffocating fragile embrace
a frosted gaze
unnoticed glazed
look betrays her
as her heavy mind catches alight
dangerous rampant sparks
tease the blackening white
of her papery cage
the corners furl
forgotten smoke pressing on her
she reaches out
now she's burning those near
and fear takes hold
of her frayed reins
soon she'll have no control
she's running in and out of ways
to make this right
she'd try to warn
anyone who tries to stay
but she's lost hold
her mind's ablaze

Excerpt #7

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She hadn't eaten anything for breakfast. That's the first thing you need to know.
And she was sad, that's the second.
That morning she had looked into the speckled mirror. She had taken her eyeliner and -hypnotised- drawn a curved line beneath each eye. She had smudged them until they blended with the real shadows under her eyes, the soft ones. Until she looked as tired and as unwell as she felt. After that, she had smiled.

Later, she walked to the bus-stop. The air was cold, it slipped past her many layers, seeped into her chest. The wind streamed through her ribs, tore inside of her. She felt like she had no body. She felt insubstantial. She decided it was better than the other feelings.

After the novelty had worn off, she would tire of it. She always does.

Calling

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I want to let it consume me.
To slip backwards into the warm ocean's thick embrace
and float, swim even.
I keep forgetting
that there are stones in my pockets
there are stones in the lining of my clothes
are stones tangled in the locks of my hair
stones wedged in my throat
in place of my eyes.

I keep forgetting
I will sink.

FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKK

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I actually realise why Dylan has given up on me.

Finally I understand.

I always knew but I never understood

I'm a fucking joke.

There's no words to describe what an incredible twat I am

REPEATEDLY

I am a douche bag

and it annoys me that noone will tell me so.

I swear to God I wasn't always this selfish.

It's just, I've begun taking care of myself, and that hurts other people.

i want to throw something and smash it.

let go

this is what it felt like

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it's a web
and there's no escape
i keep repeating the words
there's always a choice
and there is,
but i don't like any of the options.