Thursday, August 5, 2010


Ordinary, said Aunt Lydia, is what you are used to. This may not seem ordinary to you now, but after a time it will. It will become ordinary.
-The handmaid's Tale, Margaret Atwood.

What do you do when you've lost ordinary.
Because i have and now i don't know what to do.
I thought it would turn up eventually but it has been two weeks and i can't find it.
And if i do find it, who's to say i'll want it back?
Two weeks ago I had a life changing experience.


but now i'm back in this dreary city
living exactly like i did before
pretending that it didn't.

change me

And when i act like it did people don't like it because they want me to keep being the person i was, but i don't want to pretend and i don't want to hurt my friends.
why are they mutually exclusive?

i would never take back this experience, but it's hard. sometimes.
when i'm not the same how can i continue doing the things the other me did.?

With love,

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